Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Taking Resposibility








 I work with a wide variety of personalities in my job as a mediator. Since I’m supposed to be non-judgmental while I guide the parties to a mutually agreeable solution to their problem I spend a lot of time listening to stories that support their position. Often, the stories are exactly that … a story. Designed to explain why things happened the way they did.



And all too often the story completely denies any responsibility for what happened.



Just recently I had a case where the defendant blamed the plaintiff for the injury the plaintiff had received because “they should have been walking on the other sidewalk across the street”  and “the medical treatment they got cost too much money and I don’t believe I need to pay that much” for the injury caused by their negligence. They were eager to admit that an injury had happened, but blind to their responsibility for causing the accident and the injury. It was all the other person’s fault for being present and therefore they were responsible for the accident.



Believing as they did, the defendant insisted that they didn’t need to discuss the situation and certainly didn’t owe any money to anyone. They also believed that the plaintiff owed them money for having the temerity to sue them for damages. Not all mediations are successful and this one went back to the court … where the judge ruled the defendant had totally responsibility and must pay for the damages. Something any reasonable observer could have predicted.



In my practice I’m seeing this attitude occurring all too often because my generation taught the younger generation that failure is society’s fault and that the individual is not responsible for anything other than self-satisfaction. And the younger generation continued and expanded that silliness by insisting that no one should suffer the stigma of failure.



I don’t have any solution, all I can do is hope that in the future (near future, I hope) the idea of resiliency and responsibility takes root and finds fertile ground.