Laughter is the best medicine

Several years ago I had the "opportunity" to mediate a dispute between two adult males. I can't call them gentlemen because their actions and behavior belied the concept of gentle and polite conduct.

One party was a real estate salesman who managed to talk the other party into bankrolling his excursion into the world of buying cheap and selling dear, i.e.: flipping rundown houses to gullible buyers. He was a good salesman, and I'm sure had the ability to successfully sell booze to Baptists, but his weakness was believing that because he was a successful salesman he also knew construction and project management. Events proved him wrong on both counts, but that certainly didn't stop him from believing he could pull a renovation off at the expense of whoever was bankrolling his project.

His partner was an equally good salesman, only his forte was separating people from their money with a variety of financial schemes, not the least of which was never paying an expense out of his share and always shorting the profits in his favor. Cheap seemed to be his mantra and if a coat of paint would cover the mold he would argue that watering the paint was the way to go.

The dispute that brought them to my attention was a simple purchase, renovation and resale of a house in an gentrified suburban setting. What should have been a 6 week flip had, by the time they came to me, lasted more than two years. People who live off the credulity of others depend on  verbal agreements and rarely utilize the written word to document their actions. Contracts are anathema and major decisions are made verbally  in a "we are both honest businessmen" state of mind. There was absolutely nothing documented outside the legally required property transfer when they bought the structure and even that contained clauses that a lawyer would find suspect and a judge would most likely find criminal. Both parties tried their best to persuade me that while he was as pure as driven snow the person sitting opposite him was the devil incarnate and that I should not believe a word he was saying.

My job was to find common ground and guide the parties towards arriving at a mutually agreed solution to the problem. Dealing with two self centered uncaught proto-felons was a sure route to failure and after several hours of listening to their repetitious justification as to why I should believe them and not the other guy I finally decided that they were never going to address the essential task of resolving the issue.

It didn't bother me that I sent them away without solving their problem. A problem they did not want to resolve, because each wanted to crush the other ... I guess because without knowing why, they each saw themselves in the other and didn't like what they saw.

My final task that day was to wait until they had departed so I could laugh out loud over their verbal antics and unprofessional behavior. As my folks used to say "You have to laugh, otherwise you'll cry"

Are we circling the drain?

 

In the past 50 years I’ve lived the experience of my country descending from an aware, confident and capable country to a neurotic, divided and self-centered collective of tribal states struggling for local supremacy.  I also believe that all the little power hungry groups that work so hard to create “today’s crisis” are not the true and basic cause of the issues we face as a nation. Black, White, Conservative, Liberal, Atheist, Practicing (fill in your religion), Left, Right, etc. are all labels that reflect what I believe to be the two positions that divide our culture.

 

What divides us as a nation more than anything else are the political, economic and social positions that proclaim that government is either the problem or the answer to all the problems we are struggling to resolve. These days they are usually describes as “Statists” or “Libertarian” and those are labels I can work with. Basically Statists are committed to the position that government is the answer and that anything that is not permitted by law is forbidden. Libertarians on the other hand are firm in their opinion that government is the problem and that if it is not forbidden by law it is permitted.  

 

While these positions might seem to be irreconcilable our system of governance over the past 239 years proves that if reasonable people, regardless of their political position are willing to listen to the other person’s opinion and to negotiate fairly the best possible solution will be arrived at. Our present problem is that, as a society, we have lost the ability to listen and negotiate and find common ground. Driven by liberal and narcissist attitudes and now an attitude adopted by all members of the social order we are a polarized nation.

 

I have concerns about how we can return to the balanced and cooperative society we once were. There is a high probability that whatever the solution(s) might be it will be dissociative and perhaps even violent. I grieve for my children and their children and apologize that as an ancestor I didn’t do a better job in preparing the way for them.

Sal

Salt is an ancient commodity that was, at times, used as a portion of the wages paid to soldiers in the Roman Army. Its use as a portion of wages was so ubiquitous that the Latin word for salt became the root word for salary.

Even today salt is used in trade in many parts of the world as a substitute for cash. The third world is the biggest user of salt as a unit of trade which brings us to a story I read about the use of salt in  American Public Education.

Under the gentle dictate of Michelle Obama and her renowned school lunch program the disposal rate of bland, tasteless and inedible has soared and only the garbage man is happy with the school lunch program forced on future generations by a lady who's only authority comes from a marriage and not from ability.

Enterprising kids are smuggling salt into their lunch rooms and trading or selling it to other kids. One school administrator was quoted as saying, in an article written by Elizabeth Harrington:

 Children are creating their own black markets to trade and sell salt due to First Lady Michelle Obama’s school lunch rules. During a hearing before the House Subcommittee on Early Childhood, Elementary, and Secondary Education, chaired by Rep. Todd Rokita (R., Ind.), a school administrator told Congress of the “unintended consequences” of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act. “Perhaps the most colorful example in my district is that students have been caught bringing–and even selling–salt, pepper, and sugar in school to add taste to perceived bland and tasteless cafeteria food,” said John S. Payne, the president of Blackford County School Board of Trustees in Hartford City, Indiana. “This ‘contraband’ economy is just one example of many that reinforce the call for flexibility [with the rules],” he said.

With the track record of inept and useless decisions by the political leadership we now have I have great fear for the stunts they will try in the remaining years of the administration

25 May 15

Memorial Day

My Lady had a chance to fill a long held desire this past week when she had an opportunity to be an escort for a Veteran on an Honor Flight and tour of Washington. For those of you who are not familiar with the Honor Flight project it’s a nationwide program that gives elderly veterans an opportunity to tour the military monuments in the DC area and to receive the accolades of those of us who are not of “The Greatest Generation”.

 

There were about 28 Veterans on the flight My Lady volunteered for and each one of them was accompanied by one or two escorts who sole duty was to take care of their charge and to assure that he or she (they were mostly male) came to no harm. It was a long day for all, with an airport assemble at 0400 hours (That’s oh dark awful time) and a return to the local airport at 0030 the following morning (that’s really oh dark awful), since the Veterans were all in in their late eighty’s and ninety’s it was a long, long day. And the escorts, although they are generally younger were more than ready to get home and get some rest. In one day they had visited the monuments, been honored by all the military services, attended a wreath laying at Arlington Cemetery and had suffered the indignity of a cancelled air flight and bus breakdowns that should never have happened.

 

On a side note, when the bus they were riding in expired at the side of the road, the Marines jumped in and not only provided a VIP bus, they staffed it with strong and willing troopers to help the Veterans. And the Marines were not alone, the Air Force provided an active duty member to accompany one old gentleman whose escort could not make the trip and the Army provided the Army Band and an Honor Guard welcome and the Metro government of DC gave the arriving plane a water cannon welcome. It was a long and busy day, but it demonstrated the reality that the people of this country appreciate the effort given by those who came before and fought to maintain the country we have.

 

My Lady is impressed by the resiliency of those who served in prior wars and their willingness to put up with the heat, humidity and the length of the day. These are not people who gripe and moan and complain about the minor events of the day, like the Timex watch they took a licking and keep on ticking. WW II and Korea made them into upright and resilient people who are today enjoying each day as it comes and we lose some of them each and every day. They will be missed by those who care.

 

This weekend is the Memorial Day weekend and it was created for us, all of us, to remember those who previously served and suffered in prior wars. It is not National BBQ day, it’s a day to give thanks for the Veterans and the liberties we enjoy. Enjoy a BBQ with friends and family, but when you say grace before eating remember the Veterans who made it possible.

LGBT

 

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community is a politically active part of our social structure because they see the only way to get social acceptance is by altering the political environment to their advantage. The LGBT community is a minority one, and like all minorities has been abused in varying degree by the majority population. In some parts of the world being “different” is a capital crime and I can’t fault any minority that wants to assure its wellbeing in any way it can.

 

The focus issue, for LGBT’s these days is to legislatively allow for civil marriage, and they are becoming increasingly successful on a state by state basis in meeting their goal of legal and social acceptance of their vison of a more equal social order. I applaud their success and would like to see all states, and the federal government accept the fact that people who have other sexual desires are free to engage if their actions don’t cause harm to other people. Recent studies indicate that as a portion of population the LGBT advocates comprise slightly less than 2% of the population and are certainly not a threat to the rest of the population. As a result the burden for the rest of us is to finally decide if marriage is a social, political or religious institution. The answer might also be “none of the above” but we must have finally resolve the noisy conversation that blinds us to more important social issues that face us.

 

If marriage between same sex couples is now ok I can’t help but look forward to a push to also allow polygamist and polyandrous families, and I anticipate watching, and listening to arguments why one individual should not have multiple spouses. It’s only a matter of time before someone from the Church of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) advances the argument that allowing same sex marriage is no different in the eyes of the law than allowing one person to have multiple partners of the opposite (or even the same) sex.

 

As a people watcher the next few years will be very interesting!

PEOPLE

3 May 15

Over the years, we have lived in many homes, most of them larger than the home we currently live in. Because we are reluctant to just abandon “our stuff” we rent climate controlled space in a local storage facility where we keep excess furniture from previous years and new items we have purchased for the Staging business My Lady operates.  A typical week will find us utilizing the storage area several times and often at odd hours.

Yesterday we had to retrieve a refrigerator dolly from the unit prior to buying a file card cabinet we intend to convert to a small parts storage unit for her sewing room. A two minute pickup went away when I walked into the isle where our unit is located only to find the isle blocked by trash. A pile about 5 feet wide, 3 feet deep and 25 feet long was filled with empty boxes, broken glass and furniture and sundry other stuff the person obviously considered too unimportant for them to take care of.  Whoever made the mess just left it for someone else to clean up, since obviously they considered themselves too important to care about their trash?

What should have been a short visit turned into an extended effort while we cleared the way to our unit, informed storage unit management and finally got the dolly into the truck. By the time we arrived at the sale site for the cabinet it had been sold and we were out of luck.

If I could find the person who left the trash for others to pick up I’d most likely have some harsh words for him, but I know I’d be talking to empty air since the level of narcissism I see as a court mediator is increasing. So we will grumble about such people and write blog reports and get on with our lives in the hope we don’t run into such people too often.