I've been formally mediating since we moved to middle America. Before then I actually did do mediation although I didn't know that's what I was doing. Kind of the story of my life, I think.
I had done some informal work in employee relations (Not HR, but trying to repair the mistakes that HR is institutionally prone to make) and had been negotiating information technology issues for most of my career. When CC first suggested that I take a course in mediation I didn't think I would like it ... but I rapidly found that I enjoy the process and often walk away from s session smiling and thinking :I'm glad I'm not those people". A couple of decades later I still find something to laugh about, learn from and be grateful that I'm the mediator and not a party to the insanity.
I had a court assignment to make sure that the parents worked together and learned to provide a stable life for the kids. After a couple of years getting them to at least communicate the Dad decided to retire and was making comments that he should have more time with the kids and perhaps deserved sole custody, Mom of course disagreed and her lawyer commented that Dad had even said to him that he would agree to anything, but didn't believe that he had to live up to the court order defining the parents time with the kids. That's an attitude that is sure to "annoy" a judge and the court hearings have been fun to watch.
People do foolish things and when called to account they often shut down, or become very verbal or refuse to respond to the court. All of those attitudes are human, but by not thinking the issue through those attitudes can get you in trouble.
An elderly couple, elderly in years, but not in their life view contracted with a tradesman to do some repairs and painting around the house. They trusted him and payed at the end of the job without looking at the work. When they did look at the job they found work not done, work not asked for and generally work done that did not meet industry standards. The sued for shoddy workmanship and during the course of documenting their complaint they found that a carriage door opener and jewelry were also missing.
When I caught the case thy couple told me that after they called the police the jewelry appeared in a different part of the house The jewels were a felony matter and not mentioned in the complaint so I didn't have to wade through that particular swamp. The tradesman, being the kind of guy who thought he could talk his way out of any situation did allude to the jewels, I played ignorant of the situation, but the fellow realized he was talking his way into more trouble than he wanted to be in (if he had told me he had taken property from a client I would have had to report that fact) and agreed to settle the case. The couple realized that they had made a mistake when they found that verbal agreements exceeding a certain value had to be written down and agreed to a settlement for less than they demanded. The parties didn't get what they both wanted, but they did resolve the issue that brought them to court.
Like I told the parties "You might not go away happy with the agreement, but at least you can be content that this issue is behind you". And the judge laughed when I described the course (but not the content) of the discussion.
There is always a new case in the future and I look forward to working with the parties.
No comments:
Post a Comment