Looking Foreward

So far this year winter weather and its problems have not hit our area. The storms that have brought so much grief to the country have gone around us and we have enjoyed a relatively mild winter. Whether this will change in the year to come I don’t know, but for the moment I’ll enjoy not having to shovel snow or endure the frigid breezes that Kansas loves to boast about.

Growing up in the New York City area I remember some of the winter storms of the 1940’s and 50’s that exceeded in depth the storm that is presently shutting the city down. Expectations were not as high and people usually coped with problems, helped their neighbor and survived the problem as best they could. My father was a superintendent with the subway system and I recall the problems he had that required his crews to hand shovel the surface portion of the line so the trains could run. It was a hard and thankless job but that was the way life was and people just endured until things got back to normal.

Today there is an attitude change and people react strongly to anything that upsets their perception of personal comfort and impacts their sense of self importance. So the action of the New York City Sanitation Department during and after last week’s snow storm doesn’t surprise me.

Sanitation Dept. trucks are used to plow snow when necessary and are, in my opinion, a prudent use of resources in a crowded city. But management of this city agency and the sanitation workers union are upset over budgetary constraints in these recessionary times and they ordered their crews to not plow “side streets” because it increases gas usage. They thought their actions would upset citizens, and lead to restoration of funding and it most definitely did upset people, but their plans went awry when someone spilled the beans and the reason for not plowing became apparent.

I believe that unions are an important part of society, but I also believe that the social contract demands equality and denying residents a service they pay for with taxes is an act bordering on criminality. I (hopefully) look forward to termination of management staff and possible decertification of the union. But I’m not holding my breath.

Consequences

When Barak Obama entered the White House he was upset to find a bust of Winston Churchill in the Oval Office. His reaction to this gift from the British Government was to order it returned to the Brits because, for some reason the bust of Churchill affronted him. When he was told that the bust was gift from the British people to the American people he still insisted that it be removed and returned to the Brits. So much for protocol and international relations and today the bust is on temporary duty at the British Embassy in Washington.

Skip forward two years and the Brits are planning a royal wedding and are inviting heads of state from most of the world to attend. Most, that is, except for the President of the United States. So much for that shopping trip that Mrs. Obama might have been anticipating.

Christmas 2010

Luke 2: 8-14

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Words worth remembering: Peace on earth, good will toward men.

Merry Christmas,  to all

Thoughts around Christmas

My Lady is at her new job and two thousand miles away so Christmas this year will be lonely. But it’s not the first time this has happened to us. I’ve spent holiday seasons on deployment and one year driving a truckload of household goods during a relocation move. But it still brings an ache to reach out to touch and remember that no one is there. At least we have the phone and the Internet to bring us together.

For the past week the weather weenies have been talking about the massive winter storm that was forming in the Pacific. After it hammered California it was supposed to come east and bring lots of snow just in time for Christmas.

The storm arrived as scheduled and deposited the much proclaimed snow to a depth of about a quarter of an inch. In defense of the weatherman I can only assume that it spent all its energy bringing floods to the California coast and multiple feet of snow to the mountains west of here. While I can have sympathy for everybody trying to dig out I’m happy that it won’t be me wielding a snow shovel this Christmas.

Christmas Wish List

Admit it, most of us have a secret Christmas Wish List…a collection of undeclared dream items that we reveal only to our inner self. Unless of course you are writing a blog and need inspiration to fulfill the commitment you made to yourself to write a lively and interesting web diary.

My secret Christmas Wish List starts off with a desire for a personal time machine. That will take me back to the 1940’s when life was simpler, cheaper and a crisis was a flat tire on my bicycle. When people sat outside on a summer evening and quietly talked about the events of the day and hailed their neighbor walking down the street. Ice cream cones melting in your hand and Cracker Jacks at 5 cents a box.

I look back with fondness on those halcyon days but I suspect that my parents would describe that period in their lives in harsher terms. There was still the mortgage to pay, balancing wages and expenses was no less a struggle than it is today and manifest destiny had the country in the middle of armed conflict.

As I write down and strike items off my Christmas List I finally realize that what I really want are good memories of than and now and hope for future generations to have opportunity to have the same kind of wish list I’m building for my secret self.

On This Date

One hundred ninety nine years ago the first of a series of earthquakes that we now call the New Madrid Earthquake caused enough damage that for a period the Mississippi River ran backwards. There were about 2,000 earthquakes during this event lasting well into 1812. Five of these quakes were measured at 8.0 or greater.

It might surprise many people but the 120 mile long New Madrid Fault is the highest earthquake risk area in the US out side the West Coast and experiences more than 200 events each year. While damaging earthquakes are not as frequent as on the West Coast, when damaging earthquakes do occur the impact area is about 20 times larger because of the underlying geology.  The fault is located in the middle of the North American Tectonic Plate rather then along the tectonic plate interface the are the source of most earthquakes around the globe. A major earthquake of say 7.5 magnitude scale  appears to happen every 200-300 years so statistically we are highly vulnerable to a major event.

Earthquake, Flood, Storm all will impact your life, take time to prepare a family emergency plan and create an emergency supply kit. Contact your local emergency management office or FEMA for suggestions on what your kit and plan should contain.

Praise for the Written Word

          I deal with a lot of people who are in conflict over an agreement that they have with some one else. It can be a business agreement, a relationship issue or even what essentially is a  barter agreement is. The common factor I see is that they each believe that they have agreed to  something but  in fact they each misunderstood what they had agreed to.

            A recent example was a verbal agreement between two guys who had agreed to exchange work on dry walling a house in exchange for repair to a work truck. It would have worked out except the after the dry wall work was done the fellow kept adding to the repair work, first his truck and then his wife’s car. After some 18 months the deal fell apart when the otherparty decided “enough is enough”.

            That’s when I got called into the fray, trying to get both parties to agree that there has to be a limit to work performed under a verbal understanding that had no termination. All of which illustrates my point that whenever you agree to do something for or with another party you need to reflect your understanding of what was said with a written document. It doesn’t have to be a formal contract…it can be as simple as a note stating your understanding of the situation and what you believe you have agreed to do.

            By reflecting your thoughts in writing you reduce confusion and formalize wour thoughts and in the long run reduce your chances that you will have to sit down with a mediator or stand before a judge attempting to explain why you got into the position of neither party knowing what the other party understood the agreement to be.

Learning By Mistake

          As a mediator I work with many personalities. I have learned how to deal with the narcissist as well as the dependent in arriving at a solution to a problem that they can live with. But the personality that gives me the greatest amount of trouble are the people who cannot learn because they are afraid to venture into a new environment. They are unable to deal with the results of making a mistake and unwilling to admit that they are even capable of making a wrong decision or acting inappropriately. They usually believe that they are above average without even knowing what average is. As a neutral I can’t give direct advice, but they often turn and ask “what should I do?” Since I can’t tell them to get a grip I usually present them with plausible alternatives and urge them to consider and decide…since the alternative is letting a judge tell them what to do! Often that is the decision they make since they are afraid to make the wrong decision on their own.

            And I blame the “modern” educational system for that. In school today you learn before doing while life actually is about participation by doing and learning on the fly while making mistakes and improving from those mistakes until ultimately you succeed.  The No Child Left Behind legislation encourages schools to teach to the test and discourages any activity that is considered outside the norm.

            As a mediator I’m disappointed with state of affairs while I recognize that the inability to accept learning by mistake has created  employment  opportunities for me.

A Bientot

About 6 years ago My Lady and I were living a comfortable life in Washington State when she got a job opportunity in Kansas. The job was too good to resist and she accepted the chance to work in public education for emergency management. After prepping, packing and selling our home I followed her to dusty Kansas and we have luxuriated since then in the open terrain, the overarching vault of the sky and the friendliness of the people.

But times and jobs change and a few weeks ago she was offered a state wide position as Training and Exercise Coordinator in (where else) Washington State! So once again we packed a truckload of “girl stuff” and she drove back to the rainy North West. She took along our older male dog to act as guardian which leaves me surrounded by a household of females. Now I know what being a minority can feel like. So for a while this will be a divided home with lots of commuting over the next few years.  

Life should be interesting without My Lady keeping me under control.

Clean desks and minds

I mediated a case concerning a minimal damage auto incident where the plaintiff waited till the day before the statute of limitations expired before filing his suit. The case was more than frivolous and was finally dismissed for lack of proof. But it made me think about the art of Getting Things Done and why so few people seem to have trouble with the concept. So I’ve come up with a check list for those who need motivation.

If any thing takes only a minute or two, do it immediately. Why waste time planning things that can be done now.

Know what your goals are. Without even trying we all accomplish 24 hours worth of things every day. Define what the long term goals are (will you be happy tomorrow, next week, next year?) and work on those rather than what makes you happy a moment from now.

Don’t make the wrong thing your goal. It’s important that you know yourself well enough to determine what is a true and achievable goal rather than a “feel good” goal. It’s hard to make the right choice, but over time I’ve learned to separate the good from the not so good.

Suck it up. There are always things on our to do list that we can’t wait to put off. Acknowledge that job is not fun…and then do it!

Lists are good. Keep a list of things you need to accomplish, nothing elaborate, just a reminder that the goal is waiting to be reached. “Take clothes to dry cleaner”

When you don’t know what the first step is the first step becomes “figure it out”. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to search the web or call a friend for advice on where to start on resolving the issue and reaching the goal of satisfaction.

When you speak about a problem know what your goals are. I deal with a lot of people who have problem to resolve but don’t have a clue about what they want in order to satisfy their needs. People many times want others to provide the solution; usually one that leaves them unsatisfied when all that is needed is for them to know what will make them happy. “Waiter, this steak is cold and under done…it needs to be cooked a few minutes more, and maybe you can comp me dessert as an apology”

Stage your work. The library books need to be returned…but you are walking past the pile of books and then the door to the garage. So move the books to the door and then when you go out to the garage the books are there as an easy reminder of your goal of returning the books to the library.

Neatness counts. A pristine desk or countertop makes it easy to see that “everything is under control”, “a few jobs to complete” and “things are out of control”.

Work hard and work steady. The more time you give to aimless things the less time you have to achieve the goals you have set for yourself. There are 168 hours in every week…use them well.

Read a good book. Your mind is built out of what you feed it.

Don’t be afraid to fail. We learn from our failures and we need to get our bad ideas behind us in order for the good ideas to come to the fore.

Be true to yourself. Money comes and goes, but your dignity, honor and self worth are forever. Be realistic and drive a hard bargain, but never, ever, cheat. Be kind and polite to those you meet; or as my father said “Be nice to those you meet on the way up because you might meet them again of the way down”

Grand Opening

     My Lady recently started a blog and following her lead it's my turn to speak my mind. She has kept me active and interested and for that I thank her.
     I've done many things in life and feel that my opinions count for something. At the moment I keep myself active working as an alternative dispute resolution practitioner but that requires me to be non-judgemental and impartial in a world that often demands opinions.
     This is my opportunity to speak my mind, I hope you come along for the ride.