As a mediator I work with many personalities. I have learned how to deal with the narcissist as well as the dependent in arriving at a solution to a problem that they can live with. But the personality that gives me the greatest amount of trouble are the people who cannot learn because they are afraid to venture into a new environment. They are unable to deal with the results of making a mistake and unwilling to admit that they are even capable of making a wrong decision or acting inappropriately. They usually believe that they are above average without even knowing what average is. As a neutral I can’t give direct advice, but they often turn and ask “what should I do?” Since I can’t tell them to get a grip I usually present them with plausible alternatives and urge them to consider and decide…since the alternative is letting a judge tell them what to do! Often that is the decision they make since they are afraid to make the wrong decision on their own.
And I blame the “modern” educational system for that. In school today you learn before doing while life actually is about participation by doing and learning on the fly while making mistakes and improving from those mistakes until ultimately you succeed. The No Child Left Behind legislation encourages schools to teach to the test and discourages any activity that is considered outside the norm.
As a mediator I’m disappointed with state of affairs while I recognize that the inability to accept learning by mistake has created employment opportunities for me.
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